Things You Have To Remember In Your TwentiesWednesday, February 24, 2016
I wrote a post a couple of weeks ago, about things I've learnt since becoming an adult. It had such a great response from you all, that I had the idea to do another kind of related post. From seeing your comments and tweets, it made me realise that a lot of us are just twenty somethings fumbling around in the dark not really knowing what we're supposed to be doing or what our life goal is. So I hope you don't mind another twenty something related post, I mean it makes me feel a little more normal when you tweet/comment and tell me you feel the same. So maybe lets all make ourselves feel a little better and here is some stuff that you have to remember if you're in your twenties.
1. No One Has Their Shit Together:
Social media makes it seem like everyone has their shit together. You see Facebook posts, Instagram photos and tweets that make you want to dramatically flail yourself into bed and never get out again. But seriously, I don't know about you, but I don't think I've spoken to a twenty something who has everything sorted out. Even people who look from the likes of Instagram that everything is all hunky dory but its in fact not. So next time when you see someone getting a promotion/new job/buying a house/getting engaged etc.... remember that not all is what it usually seems. We all have bad days, we all have days where we just want to eat cereal all day in our pants and not communicate with the outside world. Don't sweat it. And remember my favourite quote 'don't compare your behind the scenes with someone else's highlight reel.'
2. Start Being Kinder To Yourself:
Growing up, I was pretty horrible to myself. I'd literally call myself names in the mirror, and if I did something wrong, I'd like 'God why am I so stupid?' After years, of being my own worst enemy, I've decided to actually start being nice to myself. To stop beating myself up when I do something wrong, or if I want to eat a burger then I just bloody eat a burger. To stop worrying that my thighs touch (I'm one step closer to being a mermaid right?) and to just enjoy life. Usually, I stress about how I look and last weekend at LFW where I was surrounded by gorgeous stylish people, instead of being like 'ugh I'm so fat, short and un fashionable' I was like 'I am me.' I'm not a model, but that's okay. I'm happy and healthy and that's all that matters. I want my twenties to be spent being happy and confident.
3. To Stop Caring So Much:
Okay so I don't mean about everything, but I've stopped caring about stupid things that would wind me up and make me stressed. I stopped caring about people who don't care about me or bring me down. I only care about the important people in my life. I don't care so much about what other people are doing, I focus on me and the important people rather than worrying about someone else's business that I don't agree with. I've noticed that having a 'oh well whatever' attitude has stopped me worrying/getting stressed and upset a lot less. I think as you get older you remember who the important people are and what's important in life. You stop caring so much about the petty stuff and you definitely stop caring about what random people/people you don't really like think about you.
4. No One's Life Plan Is Going Right:
Does anyone really have a life plan? But you know, you get me. Life has a funny way of working out, and no seems to be on the track they thought they would be in their head. My best advice is to stop thinking about the plan. In my very early twenties, I stopped myself from having this regimented life goal list, it was un realistic and would only make myself disappointed. I try to now just always think that 'things will happen when they happen.' Everything happens for a reason, and no one is ticking off their list, trust me. Let things be, and don't worry too much about the goal or whatever.
5. There's No Ticking Time Bomb:
Sometimes you'll look through Facebook and it seems you're the only one who hasn't bought a house, got a dream job, had a child, got married...etc... and it's like woah there. There's no rush. Stop stressing yourself out about everything and don't rush things. Do what makes you happy, and don't worry about things like kids/marriage/houses, they will happen at some point.
6. To Stop Comparing Yourself:
As a blogger, I compare myself a lot with other bloggers. I'll be like 'why isn't my blog/YouTube doing as well' 'why haven't I got as many subscribers?' etc... and it's such a lethal thing to do. Comparing yourself definitely kills your joy, and you'll always see someone else who seems to be doing better. I try to not worry too much anymore on anyone else and try to just focus on my stuff. I want to be happy so I've decided to stop worrying so much about my YouTube. To stop worrying about how many subscribers I've got, I'm fed up of belittling myself, so it's time to stop comparing once and for all. It's not easy, but the sooner you stop, the happier you'll be. I've unfollowed or muted people who maybe make me see a bit of the green eyed monster. It's human nature to sometimes compare yourself, but remember you are you, and you don't need to be someone else. The perfect person who you probably compare yourself to, is probably comparing themselves to someone else too.
7. Nothing Is Easy:
It's hard when you feel like you're not getting anywhere in life, but always remember that nothing is easy. People who are successful right now have had to work really hard to get where they are, and you didn't see the backstage struggle of sweat and tears to get them to where they are now. Always remember to work hard and anything is possible. Don't just give up because something isn't happening right now, that doesn't mean that it won't ever happen.
8. When One Door Closes, Another One WILL Open:
Been battered down at work, relationships, etc? Yeah I think we all have, and it's so easy to feel down trodden but remember that usually when one door closes, another one at some point will open. I try to always think 'everything happens for a reason' even when you don't get the stuff you really want. Be patient, and like all those mugs on Etsy say: 'work hard and stay humble.' Never ever give up.
9. The Little Things Are As Important As The Big Things:
Life unfortunately is not like a Hugh Grant rom com with great big life events and romantic gestures. It's always a shitter when you realise that. So sometimes you have to appreciate the little things in life, and realise that they are the things that are most important. When someone brings you a coffee without asking, when your boyfriend does the washing up without you nagging, fresh flowers, fresh sheets, not setting an alarm, the nights getting lighter etc... you soon realise that the little things are what make life great. Sometimes you have to stop thinking that only the big things matter, and when you add up all the little things that make you happy in your life, you'll feel a lot more fulfilled. When I was really down about my job, etc... I'd be like 'okay so I don't have my dream job buttt I do have this and this.' Even recently when we've been down because we can't seem to afford much for our wedding and everyone else seems to be able to book the plaza or something, it's like 'okay we may have to wait to get married but we love each other and we have a plan and that's all that matters.'
10. You Can Be Selfish:
Your twenties are the years when you can be a little selfish and do stuff for you. Before you have kids, responsibilities, etc... it's a great time to just make time for you. (But if you do have kids/responsibilities that doesn't mean that you shouldn't not take care of yourself too. You're still a person not just a mum remember.) Take one day now and then to just have some me time. Take care of yourself, physically and mentally. Don't feel guilt for eating badly, or watching Netflix all day. Treat yourself to a massage or whatever. Being in your twenties is weird. You're confused, you're not sure what to do with life. You still feel like a teenager but you know you're not. Some people may have never felt like this before, but I bet a lot of you have. Don't stress, or freak out. Remember that growing older is a privilege that not everyone gets. Also if you're freaking about your age, remember that age is JUST a number, it doesn't define you.
These are things that I try to remember and think about a lot. They stop me from freaking out about stuff, getting stressed or getting annoyed that someone else got an amazing job when I didn't. Being a twenty something like I said above is weird. I don't think any of us know what's going on tbh, and that's okay. I hope that this post has helped in some way, if you are feeling a bit like 'agh I don't know what to do' at the moment, I always think that life has a funny way of working out, and if you're going through the dreaded quarter life crisis, then trust me when I say it doesn't last too long. Honest.