Why I Feel So Lost With Blogging Right Now.

Wednesday, March 30, 2016

Lifestyle, Where Do I fit in with blogging, Blogging, blogging advice, feeling like you don't belong,

I was hoping today would be the day that my motivation and inspiration for blogging just reappeared. It's been missing for about a good few weeks now, and no matter what I seem to do; yoga, clean, read several lists of how to be productive, it's still not there. The thing is that I feel like I've worked out why and that's because I feel so lost with blogging and YouTube at the moment.

I just read this blog post on clickbait articles and it got me thinking. So many blogs are carbon copies of each other these days, we seem to measure success with stats like page views and how many saves you get on Bloglovin. If you didn't make the popular pages on Bloglovin, did you really post a blog post? I jest, I jest.

Bloglovin, has become an amazing platform for bloggers. But the explore pages are full of tips posts, the posts that you think are popular and what everyone wants to read but sometimes I feel you can't win. I won't lie, I have done a lot of posts like this over the past year. I enjoyed writing them but sometimes I feel, I probably sound like an annoying little bitch, like why would someone seriously want to listen to my advice when I don't feel like an adult myself, or let myself get so stressed that I go punch pillows. I mean I haven't done that in a while but you know.

I feel I've become too obsessed with Bloglovin. I measure my success in how many saves my post gets, my followers, will I ever make their weekly newsletter. It's completely changed the way I look at things, and what I write and this needs to stop. This isn't the be all and end all.

I feel because I've been so worried about focusing on what I should be writing or looking over at other bloggers, that I've forgotten what my blog is about. Or what I enjoy writing. I feel like a shit blogger sometimes cause I can't afford someone to take my photos in front of nice houses ( I once contacted a photographer who takes a lot of photos for bloggers and she said she would require £250 for a day of shooting- to some this is a good rate, but to me I couldn't justify that) and also I don't wear that many clothes. Ay up, this isn't me telling you all that I'm a nudist. I mean that I literally just wear jeans, tops and jumpers. When I go out, I'll maybe wear a skirt or dress, but I'm a normal girl who doesn't have a load of cash for clothes, or even really knows what to wear to be 'trendy'. I tried doing style posts last year, and then stopped when someone commented saying 'your outfit posts are boring cause you just wear the same thing.' That was it. I knew it was boring, but it was real. But it wasn't 'blog worthy.'

I keep seeing tweets and posts about blogs and bloggers becoming boring and the same. It makes me panic because at the end of the day a lot of bloggers are like minded so sometimes there will be similarities. Am I boring. Am I basic? I will sit and think this and then I'm like I have no motivation cause I've sat beating myself up. What do people want from blogs, I wonder.

I myself, roll my eyes at these lifestyle posts '65 ways on to make today a great day' then filled with pictures that the blogger/website has taken from Pinterest (with no credit) and then gets 73463674537 saves on Bloglovin and goes viral.

You sometimes feel like you work so hard on posts and they get you nowhere. There's low views, or low comments and you feel like shit. I worked for a whole day on my latest Lush post (I started at 9am and finally pressed the publish button at 10:30pm) taking pics, editing on Photoshop (which I've finally taught myself) to writing a long detailed post and it honestly went down like a lead balloon, (it got a fair few comments but not much else really.) Whilst you could take 20 mins to pop up a post about how you can be a productive Patricia and not put in much effort and you'd get a shit load of views. It's like what do you do?

It's so hard to get noticed these days, which is why I think so many people try to post about the same things. But what I've realised is that maybe you need to bring something different to the table. You have to keep going.

I apologise, that I'm probably just waffling on, but I feel like there has to be someone else out there who feels like this and will make me feel a little more normal.

I am incredibly lucky to call myself a full time blogger, which then makes my self doubt and lack of inspiration make me feel SO guilty.

I think I have decided that I have to stop looking so much at other bloggers. I need to stop caring that someone thinks blogs are carbon copies. I need to start remembering what I loved writing about and taking photos of. It's okay that I don't have luxury things to take photos of, or have a personal photographer. That's okay. If I want to write a list post because I think it could help one person out there, then that's okay. But it's also okay if you have got a personal photographer or have luxury items, we shouldn't make people feel bad for being able to do this.

There's so many 'rules' and opinions on bloggers and blogs these days. So many blogging advice posts and people fast to jump down people's throats. We need to focus on ourselves and maybe stop listening so much. One person may hate one post which another person loves. We are all different, and we need to remember that.

Sometimes I feel like with blogging and YouTube that I'm in this bubble and everyone outside of the bubble has their shit together. They are successful and happy and I feel alone and lazy. I think I need to pop my bubble and focus on what I enjoy, and if you feel the same like me, maybe we should do this together.

I don't mean to get out my tiny violin haha but I just feel so lost with blogging at the moment and I just felt like I needed to write about it. Of course there are so many worse things going on in life, I have a lot of bigger problems to deal with, so this is me giving myself a reality check and a bit of a slap.

I'm pretty sure I saw this quote the other day that said something like 'I'd rather be someone's shot of whiskey than everyone's cup of tea.' You're never going to please everyone so you may as well just try and focus on pleasing yourself. Not everyone is going to like you and your blog, and that's okay.

I don't really think I'm making sense right now, and I am pretty sure I can hear the Tesco delivery man/woman pulling up so I'd best go, but I just wanted to finger vomit this, and well if one of you feels the same then that will make me feel better.

There is room for all of us in blogging. Never mind if you don't make the Bloglovin popular pages, that doesn't mean the post wasn't a success.

I'm going to make a new vow with myself that from now on, I don't measure success by views (although they help) or Bloglovin saves, but instead with how much I enjoyed writing the post and even if I just get one comment, it means that someone else enjoyed it.

So here's to stop focusing on everyone else, and making myself feel bad for not being one of those cool bloggers from Pinterest. But then to not let someone make me feel bad when they say they hate a certain type of post, that I have published before. I'm giving myself a reality check to stop worrying about my blog, yes it's my job but this all isn't the only thing that makes the world revolve round. I'm sorry if this post has been a bit of a crazy ramble, but I already feel better just from typing this all out.

So here's hoping my inspiration comes back and the worrying goes away. After all, There. Is. More. To. Life.

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