Things I Wish I'd Known SoonerFriday, May 06, 2016
Growing up is weird. Like you think you know everything and then bam suddenly you realise you don't. I'm a couple of months from turning 25. That sounds like a bit grown up, as back in the day, to a teenager, 25 sounded ancient. That's a proper adult age right? I feel that over the past couple of years, I've learnt a lot about my self and I guess life itself. I feel like I've learnt some valuable life lessons, that honestly I wish I'd known sooner. This post is mainly for me to look back on for when the going gets tough (please tell me I am not the only person who can only think of Boyzone when you hear that saying) and well hopefully, if you're going through a tough time too, then maybe this post may help a teeny tiny bit.
Things Don't Usually Work Out The Way You Think:
You know when you're younger, you literally think that your adult life will be like one of the teen films you've watched (though you hope to God it's nothing like The Ring cause you cannot be dealing with shit like that) but you suddenly leave school and get jobs and it's like 'oh okay... where's my dream career and Zac Efron lookalike?' Sometimes life does work out, but it doesn't usually take the path that you think it will. I used to get so annoyed when things didn't go right, I'd want to give up, but you can't. You soon realise that life does usually work out, and sometimes things fall apart so better things can come together.
It's Okay To Not Be Perfect:
Growing up, there wasn't much apart from magazines and books to find inspiration for fashion, make up and hair. In the magazines were perfect celebrities, probably photoshopped to high heaven but we didn't have any clue that the girl in the magazine didn't actually look like the girl in the magazine. Growing up, I read magazines that pointed out when someone had rolls on their tummy, cellulite or was a bag of bones, which meant that personally I grew up with a vapid image of how women should be. It was totally like the Hypodermic Syringe model that I studied in Sociology (this totally doesn't have much to do with this post but I am proud that I can remember something from my A-Levels so let me use it okay) that drip by drip I was fed this notion that women should be tall, tanned, blonde, big boobs, thigh gap etc... for years I strived for these things. Now these days, we have blogs and social media which shows us much more realistic women.
We see women on social media who are like us, and we now know that celebrities have all the help in the world and are usually re touched in magazines. I wish I'd known this sooner, I wish growing up that I hadn't invested so much time in those celebrity magazines and just accepted myself for who I was. I'm never going to be like a Barbie and that's okay. I doubt that my thighs will never not touch, my bottom teeth are a little wonky, and I'm officially the height of a 12 and a half year old (the half is really important) but that's okay. I am me, and I shouldn't want to change to be someone else. The world doesn't need photocopies of people.
Friends Will Come And Go:
When you're younger, you literally think your BFF will be your Best Friend Forever. I mean you've both got a half of a best friends necklace so that means you will never ever break friends right? Right? The thing that is one of the hardest things to learn when you are growing up is realising that friends come and go. When I left school and started college, it was sad to realise that sometimes you just grow apart from people. I'm now a firm believer that some people will only need to be in your life for a period of time. Some are meant to the last the distance, some will come and go, then pop up again, and some are for certain phases of our lives. It's okay to change and grow apart from people. Don't force things that aren't working anymore, sometimes it's better to walk away and appreciate what you once had rather than push on something that just isn't the same anymore. Meeting friends is so hard, like sometimes I wish there was a Tinder for girlfriends. Where I could find girls to meet me for coffee and we could take pictures of each other pretending to not look for our Instagram pages, I mean that is the dream. But one thing I wish I knew before was that it's okay to not be friends with people anymore and not beat myself up because I'd moved on and changed.
Some People Will Throw You Under The Bus:
Growing up, I feel like sometimes I have been way too trusting with some people. I like to see the good in most people ( though I have become slightly more cynical these days) and would allow myself to trust people easily which has resulted in me being metaphorically being thrown under the bus. I've learnt from my mistakes, and have learnt to trust myself more. I'm learning to not be as easily influenced anymore and it's okay to have a conflicting opinion. Always be wary of people, and if your gut instinct is telling you something about someone, listen to it as it's usually right.
Your Gut Reaction Is Usually Spot On:
Over the years, I've ignored my gut reaction. I've pushed those feelings away and then usually found myself in a pickle later because of this. I won't lie when sometimes my gut feeling has been wrong, but most of the time it's right. It's there for a reason and it's there to be listened to. I sometimes think back and wish I'd listened to mine a bit more over the years.
It's Okay To Make Mistakes:
Growing up, I used to think that making a mistake was the worst thing I could do and literally would do anything to never do anything wrong. The thing is, that we're all human and mistakes do happen. Sometimes you fuck up, and that's okay (though within reason obviously). I've realised that you have to make mistakes sometimes to learn from them. How else would I know that you do not cut your eyebrows with kitchen scissors, or that mixing rose wine and vodka on a night out isn't a good idea? Don't beat yourself up if you do something wrong once in a while, I wish I'd done this when I was at school. I wish I'd known that it was okay to not be perfect all the time rather than giving myself a constant hard time.
Being Hairy Is Normal:
Oop bet you didn't expect this as the last point did you? haha. But seriously, so much of my teenage years was spent worrying about my body. Was I normal? Why were my arms so hairy? Why did I have eyebrows as thick as Charlie from Busted? I spent many a Saturday in the aisles of Boots wondering what hair removal cream I should buy, and should I shave my arms? The thing is that everyone is hairy. Like seriously. Things like big eyebrows are now the latest fashion trend and no one cares about that kinda thing. I wish I hadn't let myself feel like so much of a freak, or wish so badly that I was blonde so I wouldn't have this issue. I wish I hadn't let stupid boys in my science class bother me when they said I had a moustache or hairy arms. You do you, if you want to shave then cool, and if you don't that's cool too. But seriously, everyone is a little hairy, I promise.
I'm almost 25 and I feel like I still have so much to learn. As I regularly say on here, I still don't feel like an adult or a grown up. I'm starting to think that I never will. I guess that's okay? But I feel like I have learnt so much over the past few years. I sometimes wish I could time travel back to my teenage years and tell myself that it's okay to not be perfect, and to not worry so much about everything. But hey, I'm not Doctor Who so that's probably not going to happen.
But if you right now, are reading this, and you're unsure what's going on with your life then what I would say is to always remember that everything happens for a reason. It's probably the most important thing that I have learnt myself over the years.
So I hoped you enjoyed today's post, it's almost been quite therapeutic for me to write this all out haha, so tell me what is one thing that you wish you knew sooner?