Realising No One Is Perfect.Friday, July 15, 2016
So I was on the train home from Birmingham a couple of weeks ago, and it was a busy train. It was about 4pm on a Friday afternoon, it was one of those humid days, where it wasn't sunny, or rainy but it was hot. Like the kind of wet air, that makes you a little sweaty and stressed, which I think about 99% of the train were. I was sitting on one of those table seats with four chairs around it with my sister, and I was looking around at everyone and suddenly I had this realisation. This is the real world. This is normal people.
Okay so before you start to think 'erm Corrie, what are you going on about?' Let me take you back.
So recently, I feel I've been living in a bubble. A bubble surrounded by Instagram, Pinterest, blogs, and because of this, I feel like I've lost what the real world is like. Okay so that sounds even weirder, but I work from home. I don't leave the house too often during the week cause it makes me feel guilty for not working, so I guess that I've lost that reality of going to work every day and being surrounded by people. I walk Frank every day, but some days we'll only see a handful of people on our walk, and that's it. There's no standing round the kettle waiting for it to boil discussing last night's TV, or sitting at a table in the staff room bitching about customers. My lunch breaks are essentially spent browsing Instagram, or re pinning pins on Pinterest or watching YouTube videos, and this to me is my new normal.
I'm very particular with who I follow online, I've always joked to my friends that I'm incredibly shallow, as give me a pretty girl with good fashion sense, a penchant for flat lays and I'm hitting that follow button. That also makes me sound a little bit like a creepy pervert, promise you I'm not. Basically I like following people who are aspirational to me, the gorgeous stylish girls who I can go on their blogs or Instagram to get fashion inspiration, or turn to their videos to find out what skincare they're liking right now. You know what I mean?
The thing is, a lot of these people I follow, they're perfect. Like their Instagrams are picture perfect, most of them are or have been on exotic holidays, their flat lays are impeccable and they look amazing all the damn time. As much as I love following these people and I find their life aspirational, it sometimes makes me feel shit.
Now I don't want this post to come across as bashing anyone or anything like that at all cause it's not, this is all me and my views on myself. Basically what I'm trying to say, is sometimes it is so easy to forget that we only show what we want people to see on social media and our blogs. Sometimes we forget the 'realness'. Now not that I'm saying that bloggers, or the girls I follow on Instagram or Pin on Pinterest aren't real, cause they are. What I'm trying to say is that in my head I think everyone walks round like my Instagram timeline. But life isn't like that. And when I beat myself up for not being perfect or having a house like the one on my Pinterest boards, I need to remind myself that it's okay for me to not be perfect.
I'm not going to upload a selfie when I'm having a huge breakout like last week when I had this spot on my eyebrow that looked like a second head was forming on my face. Or the outfit shot when I have a double chin or my flies are undone. I'm not going to show you a photo of my half eaten lunch, or take a photo of my office when it's currently being used as a laundry room cause it's warm and the clothes dry quickly when they're in there.
And I know this myself, but why do I forget that other people do this too? Why do I forget that even perfect Instagram models have bad days, or breakouts, or days when the house is full of laundry. Because we're all human so we all have these days.
So back to the train. So yeah coming back from Birmingham, the weather is humid and I looked round and there was a man on the table across from us, he was reading and had a sweaty top lip. There was a girl on another chair who was trying to fix her hair which had become a little messy, everyone looked a little dishevelled, everyone looked a little sweaty and tired. I thought to myself, 'this is real life.'
Life isn't like Instagram or Pinterest. No matter how much i want it to be. Life isn't a perfectly laid out flat lay, when we drop our handbag in the street it doesn't spill out beautifully, it's always things like tampons or Imodium tablets that fall out first in front of everyone. Life isn't like a carefully arranged brunch, it's mostly about dinners that don't look that great but taste good, it's about the days when you just need to sit with a spoon and a bowl of melted chocolate and rice crispies (try this as it will change your life.) Life isn't about the perfect selfie, people care if you're funny, or nice, not if your skin is perfectly smooth.
I love social media, I do. But sometimes, I need to remember that it's not all real life. Just because someone is having a holiday or a press trip, it doesn't mean I'm a failure. Because someone has uploaded a smokin selfie, it doesn't mean I'm a beast.
I don't even know what I'm trying to say with this post, it's definitely one of my word/finger vomits. But it's just something I have been thinking about a lot lately.
As I always say don't compare your behind the scenes with someone else's highlight reel. Social media makes us feel like everyone else is perfect and flawless and having an amazing time. It gives me FOMO for things that I never thought I'd want to go to, in reality we're all humans. No one is perfect. And I think the next time that I feel like crying over the fact that I just want a holiday but all I can afford is a hotel like the one in The Inbetweeners film whilst everyone else seems to be at luxury villas in Santorini and the Maldives. I'll think of that train, you know to whip me back to reality.
Although I love blogs and bloggers, and Instagram babes and I'm still going to follow them, like their pics and take style and photo inspiration from them, it's important to remember that there is a life out there away from our phone screen. I'm going to try to stop stressing so much about getting the perfect instargram shot, or getting annoyed when I can't take a good selfie. There's more to life. In real life most people are like everyone on that train I was on, not perfect, hair out of place, etc... We don't all walk round looking like our facetuned selfies, and I myself need to remember this the next time I beat myself up over having a spot, or dark circles.
So I am sorry for this ramble, if you have made it to this far in this post then I applaud you!
It's no one's fault, as we all put what we want other people to see on Instagram. Online my life probably looks so much more glamorous and fun than what it actually is and I like that. Probably a lot of other bloggers feel the same too. It's remembering as a follower that we shouldn't let ourselves feel bad, no body or their life is perfect. No matter what Instagram makes us believe. The thing is, I still love social media, and following gorgeous people with amazing lives. I'm not going to start unfollowing people or start posting pictures of my laundry filled office, but it's just remembering offline to not get too trapped in the bubble. To be able to enjoy Instagram and Pinterest without letting it affect how I feel, and to not allow myself to feel like a failure when my life doesn't seem as perfect.
So I'm interested has anyone else kind of been in this bubble before?