In Defence Of Not Being A Girl Boss All The Time.

Wednesday, October 26, 2016

lifestyle, it's okay not to be okay, being a girl boss, girl boss,

Girl Boss. It's a word/saying that has kinda come out of nowhere over the past couple of years. Like the word selfie, or lol, girl boss is a phrase that we see all over social media. The term which I'd never heard of until Sophia Amoruso's #GirlBoss book was released. But it's something I see and use myself, I use Girl Boss as a way to describe a woman who is killing it. Like someone who is very successful and is doing amazing things. In a nutshell someone who has their shit together.

My social media feeds are full of 'girl bosses' - women who are dominating their field when it comes to blogging, YouTube, Instagram, basically just life in general. Every day, I am awed by the hard work and determination that comes from these women. Their daily upload schedule, their glossy pictures, I find myself just thinking ' they work so so hard' and then I give myself a beating for spending yesterday afternoon watching Netflix.

Recently, I've been in a slump. I've not been motivated to do anything, not just work related but life related too. Getting a load of washing to put in the washing machine takes a huge amount of effort, and sometimes all I want to do is just sit and watch Gilmore Girls. It's like my brain is full of fog, I feel like a computer with too many tabs open. I have the inspiration and the want to do stuff, but it's like my body and brain won't let me. I've been feeling this way pretty much since the start of the month,  I've been ill on and off since then, and we are in the middle of our kitchen renovation. We are on week two of the builders being here, which means week two of me being stuck in the bedroom as it's the best place to stay out of the way.

I try to not talk too much on here or social media, when I am feeling low, or uninspired as I think it's a little negative. No one really likes a Moaning Myrtle right? So why would you need me cluttering your Twitter time line? But then yesterday I'd had enough, I was fed up that a simple blog post was taking me days to write and my brain wouldn't co operate. I tweeted ' I can't seem to motivate myself to do anything atm (sad emoji face) all i want to do is up my blogging/youtube game but it's like my brain wont let me (frustrated emoji face).' I thought it was a tweet that I'd tweet and then delete about ten minutes later. But I was surprised how many people liked the tweet (I'm assuming they feel the same) and how a few bloggers/YouTubers who I feel are on top of their game liked it too. It made me realise that I'm not alone sometimes when I feel like this and even more so, it's okay to feel like this. It made me realise that the girl boss that you are admiring could be feeling exactly like you.

I sometimes have to remind myself that someone doing amazing things doesn't mean I'm a failure, or if someone has a super organised schedule that doesn't necessarily mean I'm lazy. Someones success shouldn't make me feel bad and I need to stop this pressure that I put on myself, in my quest of being a 'girl boss.'

The thing is, that we are all girl bosses in our own right. It doesn't matter what you do, as you can be a girl boss at whatever you like. Perhaps I need to cut myself some slack, stop staring at an empty laptop screen and perhaps get outside. Or if I need to, sit and watch Gilmore Girls, after all Rory and Lorelei are very wise and could even inspire me.

I wanted to write this post to hopefully remind you that if you're feeling this way then it's okay and it's okay to not always be on top of your game. I always tell myself to remember that you never know what's going on behind closed doors or how people really feel. We can make anyone believe what we want them to believe on social media, we can pretend we have our shit together and a perfect life when in fact no one really does do they, and I think I especially forget that sometimes. I have realised that instead of making myself feel bad because women I admire are doing really well, I should take it as inspiration and something positive that I can work towards. No more giving myself a kicking because I haven't posted much recently, or because I'm not working with an amazing brand. Like I said earlier, someone else's success doesn't make me a failure.

Part of me is always a little scared of opening up about this kind of thing, because the business part of my brain worries that it won't be good for brands and them wanting to work with me. But then I guess I have to remember that I am a human and that you probably follow blogs because you like that they're a real person and brands should appreciate that? I guess it doesn't help that to be brutally honest with you, right now, I keep hoping for more brand work becuase I have been utterly screwed over by the collapse of Mode Media and I am constantly stressed and anxious because of this which doesn't help either. You can see why my brain feels like it has too many tabs open now right?

I have to be realistic and perhaps realise that I'm probably not going to be the most creative whilst I'm sitting in my bedroom, awkwardly listening out for the builders and wondering if the coast is clear to pop to the loo. I might perhaps take these next few days as time to hopefully get over this sore throat that has been lingering, and do something I enjoy. I could perhaps take this time to build up my blogs content or plan stuff, or whatever I find enjoyable right now. (If anyone would like to help me out and let me know if there's any blog posts/videos you'd like to see then please let me know. Please tell me what kind of posts you enjoy reading as it would honestly be a huge help!)

It's okay to have days where you don't want to do anything, or struggle with the most easiest of tasks. Everyone has those days and we need to remember that, I for one am going to stop putting so much pressure on myself. After all the term Girl Boss isn't even in the dictionary ( I don't think anyways) so we can give it our own definition, and be a girl boss at whatever we want.

What do you do when you're stuck for motivation/inspiration?

( Also I hope this post hasn't come across as one of those 'woe is me' posts, I think it's important to discuss the stuff we're feeling and not every job is as perfect as it may seem. I appreciate that being a full time blogger is a lovely job, one I am incredibly lucky to do and thank my lucky stars for every day. But that doesn't mean that sometimes it's not hard, and sometimes you don't enjoy it. No one enjoys their job all the time. I'm sure I'll get back on track soon, but as they always say a problem shared is a problem halved.)


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