Things We’ve Learnt From Love Island : Week One

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Like most of the nation (though this might be a slight exaggeration) I have been glued to my TV this past week, thanks to the start of this year’s Love Island.

Yes, it’s the most wonderful time of the year, it’s not getting dark till at least 10pm, day drinking is totally acceptable when the sun is out (kind of) and for eight weeks, every night (well apart from Saturday’s) we get to watch strangers try to find love in a villa in Mallorca.

That’s right – last week, the moment we’d all be waiting for – LOVE ISLAND SEASON 4 BEGAN.

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I could try to act like a cool normal adult, but in reality I was counting down the hours till 9pm, and as soon as I saw Caroline Flack in her trademark playsuit, I cancelled all plans that occurred after 8:50pm for the next eight weeks.

So we’re a week in to season 4, and Love Island seems to just be as popular as last year, it’s on the news, it’s caused debate (are you Team Eyal or Hayley?) And well, after having many a Whatsapp convo about the show, I thought that maybe I’d start doing some weekly Love Island posts, well maybe- let’s see how this one goes down first!

However, if you’re looking for daily Love Island round-up posts that are V funny, then you should check out Vix’s blog here.

So, let’s begin shall we?

First of all, let’s talk about the contestants and a brief round-up of who’s who…

The Girls:

Danni : Actual Danny Dyer’s daughter, who yes is also called Danni Dyer. Seems very sweet and one of the more genuine down to earth girls.

In A Couple With : Jack (they had a rocky start after Danni finding out Jack has cheated on his previous girlfriends, but they are now back on again- much to the nations delight)

Laura: Is she 29? Who knows? She has Olivia from last year vibes and seemed to suddenly find interest in Wes after hearing he spent £1000 on a date once.

In A Couple with: Wes

Hayley: Absolutely stunning, but seems to be playing a massive game. Can’t work out if she genuinely doesn’t know much about the world or is just playing dumb, as she thought that Brexit meant that all trees would be cut down. Yes -you couldn’t make this shit up.

In A Couple with: Eyal

Samira: A west end dancer, who seems a nice girl but we’ve not seen much of her yet.

In A Couple with : Doctor Alex- but just as friends.

Kendall : Kendall who could have been Kady from season 2’s sister, was dumped in the first official re-coupling. She seemed very sweet and a little sensitive, but then again who wouldn’t be, after your fiance of five years, woke up one day and told you they didn’t love you anymore.

In A Couple with : First Niall then Adam, when he coupled up with her in a Muggy Mike style re-coupling on day two.

Rosie : One of the later arrivals in week one who we all hoped would fall in love with Doctor Alex , but these dreams were dashed when she told him at their first date that she had ‘high hopes for him’ – was she suddenly channelling his year 11 Biology teacher or something? She then fell for the charms of Adam- much to the eye rolls of us all.

In A Couple with : Adam

Georgie: Arrived with Rosie towards the end of the first week, I was starting to like her as she seemed quite genuine but then she did this weird celebratory thing when Kendall was dumped/Rosie was saved, which made me think ‘hmm’.

In A Couple with : Niall who reckons she’s his Rainbow fish because they have a shared love of chicken dippers and not going to the gym.

The Boys :

Niall : I really liked Niall to start with, but then I wasn’t sure whether he was trying too hard to be this year’s Chris, when he started on about finding a rainbow fish (which does anyone else remember? I swear my Mum put a rainbow fish border in our downstairs toilet in the late 90s) I also wasn’t sure how to feel when he claims to be massive Harry Potter fan (he even has Hermonine’s wand tattooed on him) yet used a patronus charm in the totally wrong situation.

In a couple with : First Kendall, now Georgia.

Alex: Ah Alex, he’s the A&E doctor who no one seems to click with. I’m not sure if Love Island is the best place for Alex and his salmon shirt. He’s maybe a bit too pure for it.

In a couple with : Samira (just pals though)

Wes : How is Wes only 20, and why did he spend £1000 on a date? What did they do? I hope he rented out a whole Laser Quest or something for that money.

In A Couple with : Laura

Adam: The oldest looking 22-year-old I’ve ever seen.

In A Couple with : Kendall, who he then dumped for Rosie.

Jack : His teeth are brighter than my future. Looks a bit like the love child of Arg from TOWIE, Ben Affleck and Ross’s teeth from Friends..

In A Couple with : Danni

Eyal : Ah Eyal… he has a goldendoodle which in my book means he’s genuine and trustworthy. He talks about aura’s and spirituality, he’d 100% be the guy who wears festival bracelets months after going to a festival.

In A Couple with: Hayley

Now, here’s what we learnt from week one of Love Island 2018.

  • It’s Not As Good As Last Year

So maybe I’m being a bit harsh, cause we’re only a week in, but I’m not convinced that this series will be as good as last years, or be even close to season 2 (which was the best one in my opinion!) Like I said, we are only a week in, but I’m pretty sure that this time last year, I’d already decided that Camilla was my new favourite person, and the year before that- I was already backing Cara and Nathan had to win. This year, I haven’t really warmed to anyone, neither am I feeling any of the couples. But who knows, we’ve got seven weeks to go. It could liven up.

  • How/Why Do The Contestants Look So Old?

One of life’s greatest mysteries that I’m sure will be studied by scientists to come, is how Adam is only 22. I refuse to believe he was only born in 1996. He looks about 32, and for someone who is almost five years older than him, I can’t get my head round it. A very uphill paper route as a youngster, or has being a F**kboy aged him beyond his years? I’m not even gonna comment on Laura and the whole is she 29 or older debate, but all I will say, is that they all look a lot older than they say they are, and I wonder if I’ll forever feel and look like a woman child.

  • Love Island Perhaps Isn’t The Best Place For A Rebound.

Poor Kendall, after being dumped by her fiance of five years, it seems that going Love island could have been a bit of an attempt for her to try to move on. However, we soon found out that Love Island perhaps isn’t the place to do this, after telling Adam she wanted to take it slow and move at her own pace, he didn’t seem too impressed and moved on with newbie Rosie within about 5 minutes. Adam declared that ‘he know what he wants, and gets what he wants’ (well apart from a main role in Geordie Shore it seems) and it seemed that Kendall’s moving slow was not what he wanted. Poor Kendall was dumped from the island, and all of us on Twitter agreed that the UK was probably better for sweet and classy Kendall.

  • Adam Is This Year’s Villian (well maybe…)

There’s always a villain in Love Island, and they’re usually tall, dark and handsome. In season 2, we had Terry (who can forget that amazing TV moment when Malin confronted him about his affair with Emma) and of course last year’s infamous Muggy Mike. This year, we seem to have given the title to Adam, who for a few days made Kendall feel bad for her insecurities, moaned to the lads cause she wouldn’t kiss him even though she’d done it before, and then pied her off and 5 mins later got with Rosie. In fact it was probably 3 mins later but y’know who’s counting.

  • Hayley Is The Biggest Game Player Of All….

After falling out with Eyal earlier in the week for saying Love Island was a game, and he clearly had a game plan, Hayley then a few days later conspired with Danni to trade couples so they could both have a chance of staying in. She then had to think of a new plan when Danni and Jack decided to give things a go, so she suddenly started giving Eyal the time of day in the hope he’d choose her at the re-coupling, which he did (WE WERE ALL ROOTING FOR YOU EYAL!) For someone who thinks it’s not a game, that seems to be a very conscious effort to stay in the show… strokes chin suspiciously. Does she want to find love, or does she really just want a Pretty Little Thing discount code?



  • Eyal Does Not Like Being Mugged Off

In a moment that probably had most people shouting ‘YES EYAL’ at the TV, after being told by Wes that Hayley said that kissing Eyal had made her feel physically sick afterwards, he got up and stormed over to Hayley, which led to a heated row round the fire pit, and ended with the now iconic line of  ‘I’M NOT YOUR HUN, HUN.’ For a very chilled guy, he kicked off very quickly- I imagine he had to go to the diary room to cleanse his aura for several hours afterwards.

  • Dumbing Yourself Down Is Not Cool

After the Brexit conversation and Hayley admitting she had no idea what it was, sparked the debate of whether she was dumbing herself down. And if so, that makes me feel a bit sad. You should never feel like you should dumb yourself down to seem more attractive, in fact, isn’t being intelligent and being yourself more of an attraction? I think it was Hayley too, who said Alex’s job was too professional for her. Obviously everyone is entitled to their opinion but I do think that’s a weird one, who knew being a doctor was a dating no-no? However, no one should ever dumb themselves down, and if anything Hayley has made herself look worse by doing so. Be yourself guys!

Who knows what week 2 will bring in Love Island

Maybe some actual chemistry?

Someone for Doctor Alex to woo with his salmon shirt?

Niall to actually use the Patronus charm correctly?

Adam to admit he’s actually 28?

Will Hayley slip up that she’s only in Love Island for the Instagram followers?

What’s your predictions for week 2 and who are you loving right now?

Anyone else got their fingers and toes crossed that Danni and Jack make it to the ‘meet the parents’ episode, as seeing Danny Dyer on Love Island, would 100% be television gold.


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