Positivity/being positive seems to be the word of the moment, maybe you’re a bit fed up of seeing things like ‘good vibes only’ all on your timeline. Trust me, I know that sometimes it can seem a bit much and you want to lock yourself away in a room being negative cause everyone on Twitter seems to have turned into Eyal from Love Island. #deep.
So today’s post, although the title might have a strong claim, isn’t going to be in my opinion, a realistic way to be positive, and some things that I try to do, day-to-day.
I used to be such a Negative Nancy when I was growing up, I would always see the negative in situations, and my glass was definitely more half empty than half full.
I never pushed myself because I thought ‘what was the point?’ I was bitter, jealous, and generally wasn’t a very happy person with myself.
However, over the past couple of years, I knew I has to change this mentality, and I do feel like I have become a more positive person. I feel like I try to see the best in situations, I am a lot more driven and have a lot more faith in myself, and although I’m not saying that I’m Positive Patricia all the time, I feel like I’m better at being her than Nancy these days.
I mean I do sometimes walk round like Wednesday Addams rather than the sunshine from the Tellytubbies, but you know, that’s normal, you can be farting rainbows and spreading joy all the time right?
So here’s the 5 things that I do to be positive :
Taking away negativity online & offline –
Swatting away Negative thoughts
Seeing The Positive In All Situations
Doing More Of What You Love
Ready to see how these 5 things work? Let’s dive in…
- Taking away negativity online & offline –
Have you ever been with someone and they’re talking negativity to you, perhaps they’re moaning about their boss, or talking about Tracy from school, who on Facebook who does that annoying thing of posting an attention seeking status, or something like that and it somehow then makes you feel bad? Yeah it’s not great is it?
I’ve realised that negativity feeds of negativity and one of the best ways to do this, is just take it away.
Online – this is pretty easy, if someone is grating on your on your timeline, or making you feel negative, just unfollow, mute, un-friend or block them. It’s simple as that. You are not entitled to keep anyone on social media or follow them if they aren’t having a positive impact on you. It’s one beauty of social media, that we curate our feed.
Offline- This can be more difficult, as you can’t just mute your neggy mate, or suddenly walk away halfway trough a convo about how much you both hate your jobs. But what you can do is to try to not bring up those negative subjects, or try to change the conversation, or try to put a positive spin on things. I’m not saying you can’t ever talk about negative stuff, or want to never be around negativity, but just make sure it’s not all the time, as it’s surprising how much of an effect it can have on you and your moods.
2. Swatting away Negative thoughts
I learnt this technique whilst having a course of CBT for anxiety, where I learnt to swat away any anxious thoughts. I would imagine swatting them away with a fly swat, and trying to think of something else or distracting myself. I also do this with any negative thoughts.
Say I’m sitting at my desk, writing a list of things to do and then suddenly this negative thought of ‘you will not get this all done today’ comes and sits on my shoulder- leaving me feeling a bit rubbish and doubting myself, instead of perhaps spiralling into a puddle of negativity, I’ll try swatting it away and thinking ‘nope, I’m not letting that get in my head.’
Of course this can be easier said than done, and you do have to be tough on yourself, but you know some days I do want to get stuff done and it’s a case of not letting negativity get in the way. Get that fly swatter out!
3. Seeing The Positives In All Situations
Some situations are shit, and there is no positive, but something I try to do is see the positive in stuff.
Say for example, on my wedding day, it was raining right? So instead of me sitting there thinking ‘oh my god – it’s raining, there wont be any nice photos, and what about the lawn games?’ I was thinking ‘okay there’s nothing I can do, apparently this is lucky for your wedding day and hey at east we booked a stunning venue, who needs lawn games anyways?’
Or say when I got stuck on a euro-star train for three hours, I said ‘well at least we won’t be carrying all our luggage on rush hour tubes’
Once you start to spin things around, your mentality starts to change.
I saw a good tweet the other day that was talking about how you use your words. So for example, you’re in a shop waiting to pay and instead of the sales assistants saying
“Sorry for the wait”
They say ‘Thank you for your patience, it’s really appreciated”
Which one would you rather hear? Which one turns it around and makes it a bit more positive?
Another one is when you rock up to meet your friend and your 10 mins late, instead of saying ‘sorry I’m late’ you could say ‘thank you so much for waiting for me’
Turn things around to make them more positive and that will spread a bit of positivity too.
Always try to see the silver lining, or use a negative to make a positive. For example, if you’re jealous or sad that someone seems to be more successful than you, instead of doubting yourself and putting yourself down, turn that into a good energy such as motivation, use it to push you to where you want to be.
Okay I’ll stop now, I’m talking about energy, things are getting to Eyal-y up in here.
4. Doing More Of What You Love
You’re going to be a moody mare if you’re not ever doing anything you love. How miserable would we be if we never did anything enjoyable? It’s no wonder Negative Nancy keeps making an appearance.
I realised that I had to start allowing myself to do more of what I enjoyed, and felt that because I was feeling happier, that being positive wasn’t such a challenge.
For me it’s going to the gym, watching Netflix and giving myself an afternoon off here and there, having a chill night with Henry and Frank, going for pizza with friends, do what you enjoy and don’t feel guilty for it. In fact do more of it!
Something that helps with my positivity, is being grateful for what I have.
You will never be happy if you’re always looking for more or what everyone else has.
I find that gratitude has allowed me to be more positive and grateful for what I have, in conclusion making me happier.
A lot of my usual negative thoughts were to do with stuff that I don’t have, so I try to be grateful for what I do have.
For example, instead of feeling bad that I don’t seem to be growing on Instagram, I am grateful for the followers I do have and feel lucky they are such a supportive bunch of people.
Once you start to change your mindset you do start to feel better, and more positive.
All these things have really helped me into feeling a lot more positive and happy, of course like I said, some days I am negative and will throw a strop but that’s just normal. We can’t be happy robots all of the time, and sometimes no matter how hard I try, my swatting technique won’t work and I can’t see a silver lining but that’s okay.
The main thing is that I’m positive a lot of the tine, and I’m a lot happier.
I hope these things wull help fi you’re looking to be a bit more positive, and let me know if you have any tricks for staying positive as I’d love to know!